Many of you have reached out with
kind words about this blog and it caught me off guard, in a good way. I write these posts mostly
for myself, so that I will have a place to go to remember all these experiences, like I am able to do with the Ladakh blog (btw, what in the world
was I thinking with that bright pink background??). With that in mind, I've
been increasingly aware of how I portray this experience. The people I’m
meeting are human and I am learning of only a snapshot, and the situations I'm seeing are complex and multi-pronged. Nothing here represents a full or accurate picture, but only a glimpse into my personal experience. Anyways, keep reading, forgivingly and kindly! :)
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| Subhakala and I walking to her house! |
Traveling
to the first village could be its own blog post, but I’ll let that slide for
now. When we reached Arghakhanchi, 12 hours after leaving KTM, Subhakala, ADWON’s
regional field worker, greeted us. She insisted on buying us a cup of
chiya, while everyone on the road craned their neck to check out me, the
bideeysha (foreigner). Arghakhanchi is remote and poor, which means I/NGOs are
frequent visitors, and tourists are not. Leaving the town we walked UP for
about an hour and a half before reaching her house.
Subhakala
was the first community hero I met of the week. In the few short days spent at her
house, it was obvious that she is a cherished and respected figure. She works
with ADWON, is a trained community health worker and assists other NGOs in
providing aid in the region. Although the language barrier was pretty big,
Subhakala quickly made it clear that I was to call her my Nepal ama (mother),
and she made me feel so welcome! I remember being pleasantly surprised the
first evening at how she plunked herself next to me on the bed and grabbed my hand
and smiled. Her daughter was just a little older than me, and together the two
made the best team of home stay hosts I’ve ever had in a village!
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| First day of field work |
The first full day left me worried and overwhelmed.
Everything was very real, from the men that stood in doorways, noiselessly
dominating and silencing the women, to the chaos of collecting data on the
number of school-aged children and literacy levels. Eventually, once Bindu and
I asked the men to leave the porch, I heard stories like the ones I’ve been
reading in academic literature and on the news. Caste discrimination, domestic
violence, lack of education, alcohol abuse. Hit repeat, and you have the common
themes of the week. The first two groups were certainly the two weakest that we
saw, but being my first impression of ADWON’s ground level I felt troubled as I
struggled to find women that provided signs of positive growth.
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| Loving on momma! |
There
was one woman who sat in the middle of the group with her young baby boy. He
was learning to walk and all the women took their turns coo-ing over his
antics. His mom had a great smile that stretched from ear-to-ear and clearly
gave encouragement to the young girls listening in on the group to the older
grandmother whose belly laugh sparked a chain of chuckles. She was twenty-two
years old, just two years older than me, and had only attended school until
class four. She could not read and write, and had been married for a while. She
had recently taken a loan for a goat, with the hopes of selling its baby and
making a profit of about 5,000 NR (~ $50 USD). It was really hard to hear her
story and I quickly realized that going down the road of comparing our lives
would lead nowhere helpful, so I nestled it inside me to digest at another
time. Even now, I can do all the comparisons (like how one night’s babysitting
would earn me double that price at home, or how she had her first baby the age
I started college), but I’m not sure its productive. It left me increasingly
aware that recording the survey data and writing notes for stories in my
notebook is a privilege, as putting pen to paper is a skill not accessible to
all.
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| Leader of a new group! |
The
meeting came to a close, and we headed 30 minutes to a third, unofficially
affiliated women’s group of ADWON. I was shocked on my first day in the ADWON
office to hear that ADWON’s model is spreading between villages without the
help from any staff. Women in villages are hearing about the groups and
starting their own savings groups, without the incentive of seed money or
scholarships. I was really excited to have the opportunity to meet with the
leader of the initiative. I learned that they had been approached to start a
group back in 2006, but had been uninterested. However, eight years later, they
have been encouraged by the success of their village’s neighboring women and
want a second chance. They have no expectations to receive benefits from ADWON,
but have plans to continue their initiative. I learned that women’s group are
far more often approached by additionally NGOs as the structure/organization
allows for easier dissemination of information, supplies or other aid. This
increased visibility is a huge incentive for joining a group, or, in this case,
creating one. Even the groups we met with earlier that day shared stories of
receiving a water tap and agriculture training, as a result of having the women’s
group structure required by ADWON. This incentive is not one that I’ve read
about widely in academic literature, either!
I
went to bed more optimistic and interested to see what other groups would
bring. I remember thinking, before dozing off to sleep, about the meaning of
this “empowerment.” I feared the word was simply hip rhetoric of developmental aid,
much like the word “sustainability.” At the time, it seemed like a great way to
sell a product and gain donations, but perhaps a bit lacking in reality. The
groups we met with on Tuesday, however, changed my mind and embodied a
definition that radiates confidence, leadership, curiosity and courage. It was
apparent from when I sat down with them that something was different. The
energy and confidence was soaring and they were brimming with excitement to
share their thoughts. Unlike the day before, when Bindu and I had to ask the
men to leave, these women booted the men from the room in about five minutes.
They harassed them in a giant chorus, chiding them for being in their women’s space. It was awesome!
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| Day 2: Group Meeting |
Quickly
the mood turned more somber, though the energy of the space was never lost.
They brought forward the issue of domestic violence with intensity and a clear
desire for change, despite the setbacks they shared. One husband is regularly
beating a member in the group, and the women have united to try and change his
ways. They have made multiple reports to the police, but no action has been
taken. So they have gone to the house, several times, to personally appeal to
the husband and call him out for his actions. Unfortunately, this has not
worked either. It was heartbreaking to hear the woman’s story, but the
collective dedication of the village’s women to create change was
awe-inspiring. From there came a discussion about the universal bond of women
and the responsibility we have to each other to encourage and unite around
issues, which left me inspired and humbled.
I
had not expected such a united group, especially after the day before. One of
the academic articles I read back in the spring discussed the increased social
capital that women groups created in India, but I hadn’t anticipated actually
seeing such an outcome in person! From that group on, however, every group demonstrated
some form of collective bargaining power in their community to prompt change.
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| Post-Meeting Fun! |
The
second group that day only added to the momentum. They showed up with the same
energy and quickly revealed their struggles with domestic violence as well.
However, they casually and calmly reveled that they had implemented their own
village policy to address the issue by fining abusive husbands 500 NR, with the
price doubling with every repeated offense. So far, they have admonished five
men, and although one or two were repeat offenders at first, the men quickly
realized the women were serious and have reportedly stopped the behavior.
To
be truthful, it’s a little hard to wrap my Western brain around the concept. I
was so skeptical at first, like, you mean, bam, the behavior is changed? Just
like that? Sure, I thought. But honestly, I think its real, but its so beyond
my personal community upbringing that it is hard to digest. The villages are
close and the women know everything about each other (honestly, if you had a
question about one woman, the rest could easily answer on her behalf).
Additionally, the culture of honor is so strong. Women are traditionally
responsible for maintaining a family’s honor, but when this women’s group
switched the roles and charged the man for brining shame to the family name,
the same force of power seem to be at play.
Not
even half way through the trip, and this such a meager account of the
experience! Baglung, the second district, presented even more to think about,
but that’s enough for today!
